Testing the ground...

I attempted to write this post, back on the 14th January, but for one reason or another never managed to finish it.  Coming back to it today I realised that not only did i not finish this post but I haven't blogged in ages, in fact the entire month of January has passed and I forget this blog even existed.  Well actually I had not forgotten about the blog, the thought of it, almost always lingers within me.  Many a times I think of noting the day's events or a certain moment but time or another element does not permit.  So in essence this post in now somewhat, another one of my rambles!

So testing the ground was the idea a few weeks back.  On many levels it certainly was testing the ground.  On a materialistic level it was time for the upgrade on my contract phone.  I had seriously considered cancelling the blooming thing, totally economising, and going pay as you go.  I mean money is kind of tight especially with a huge commitment of a home coming along pretty soon. There really did not seem any point in shelving thirty odd pounds per month, especially since I had not maximised the service use in the past twelve months.  But then just a few days before I made the call to the phone company to cancel, a strange thing happened and along came the constant use of my mobile phone.  So with a rethink I carried on with my contract. 

Now most know, I am a loyal customer to Sony Ericson! But was this the time to be traitor and go to Nokia?  Something the others particularly my kid brother was annoying me over.  I settled for the Satio and bloody hell was there some effort in getting used to a touch screen, it's like a whole new blooming technique that one has to master.  The real surprise on this phone subject came some twenty-four hours after I had my Satio.  I needed to off load that previous phone of mine which had never received the TLC it deserved but still was as damn good as it was on day one despite it looking a little battered.  In an extraordinary turn, my brother totally loyal to Nokia turned into a complete traitor overnight.  Now SE is the best thing since slice bread or in his sugar coated way, SE have some good features.  He can't quite bring himself to say SE rocks :p

Anyway on other news, my sister finally moved in to her refurbished, reconstructed, re-everything house.  It looks fabulous, modern and definitely has a feel of openness to it and the girls totally love their vibrant bedrooms.  I love new homes, new decor, it really gives a fresh approach!  It's not just about a lick of paint or a change of furnishings  or a bit of a move around, it goes beyond it and completely re-address the mental, physical, and emotional approach to your home and life.

This affair I mentioned earlier, which resulted in the overuse of my phone, bought some interesting twists and turns to personalities, and just life in general.  The whole thing about this so called affair has been superb, something I never actually thought was feasible but I found that to fulfill this so called business and change many of us have to let go of the past and have the courage, strength and patience to move forward. One has to trust in ones self and believe in others.  For the desired end result which I'll go into detail in good time, myself and two other significant people in my life need to make this change.  Fear is huge sphere and conquering that is a master in itself.  There is deep affection in between all this and that can either allow you to conquer fear or stop you from conquering it.  I know that this choice I have made is most definitely the right one, for it will bring good to me and all the people around me, but timing is key in this.  Time will allow for all things to heal and shine with a glow.

One final note is on cooking, the subject stems from the previous and significant change I have referred to.  My sister and I agreed the other day that some of the men are the best cooks there are and we agreed that the men in our lives were ultimately the better cooks.  It was something that was said that also encouraged this idea that cooking is an art not just a chore.  At least we have men in our lives that cook for us!  What more could a woman want?!

Here's to hopefully a fruitful and fabulous February -:)

Aisha

2009/2010 Tag/Meme..

Credit is not to me, I got this trailed from one blog to another blog and to another..., but all the same thanks!


1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Blimey, I did more last year that I've never done before! Some shit stuff and some great things

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I think my last post answers that!

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
In past tense now.  I spent it in indoors trying to knock some sense into a sibling

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No

5. What countries did you visit?
I did more travelling this year than ever.  Australia, Dubai, Morocco, Canada, Malaysia and Singapore

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
To have enough courage to stand up and put myself first in one very certain element of my life.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
1st August, I can't go into reasons why, but everything I ever believed in and put my energy towards got crushed to unimaginable tiny pieces and in some respects it all went downhill from then onwards!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Seeing through the end of a friend's cancer battle.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Failure only occurs if you accept defeat.  I don't do defeat, I just re-assess!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thank God, No

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My car and almost my home..still have to sign on the dotted line for the latter though

12. Where did most of your money go?
Car, home and lots of travelling

13. What song will always remind you of 2009?
What about Now..Westlife

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Strangely enough contemplation

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Hoped for the hopeless

16. What was your favourite TV program?
Didn't watch enough of TV to know / care.

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I do not hate.  I just stop caring!

18. What was the best book you read?
The Kite Runner.  But on a funny level I've enjoyed reading Shopaholic series by Sophie Kinsella, made me laugh when I thought I wouldn't / couldn't!

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
None that comes to mind right now.

20. What was your favourite film of this year?
Not one favourite, a few that made the mark for me.

21. What did you do on your birthday?
Let's put it this way it wasn't celebrated the way I had hoped, but all the same a day I shall never forget, for reasons I can't go into on here!

22. What kept you sane?
Faith and my special friend Marlene.

23. Who did you miss?
Nobody

24. Who was the best new person you met?
My dad's cousin in Sydney, she was a laugh and a breath of fresh air, quite reminds me of myself. I met lots of other people at my brother's wedding in Perth and that was one hell of an experience.  I don't make friends easily and so if I do click with a person it must be something special! (a tad bit of useless info :p)

25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009?
Have faith and live

New Year....New Beginning!

I am not one for making New Year’s resolutions. I suppose I deem it as more of a fad than anything. I have yet to meet a person who has made a resolution at New Year’s and maintained with it. I'm not a pessimist, more a realist, and definitely an optimist. That's why I feel that if you want to make a resolution it should be at any point in the year and certainly not in the spirit of the moment; made and most probably forgotten.

Said that, if you honestly feel you can make a resolution at New Year and uphold with it then you deserve a pat on the back. I pledge no resolutions at New Year. I tend to makes assurance to myself at different point through the year. It is usually following an event, change, an experience, and any other element that may result in constituting a promise. I think about it firmly, make a decree and endorse it. A promise to oneself is equally as important as making one to the Creator. If you cannot keep a pledge made to yourself, how can one hope to achieve the same determination and steadfastness when you have to fulfill the vows made to the Lord?

Resolutions are not just words. They go beyond that and prove a person's character, strength of mind, resilience, buoyancy and mostly a person's veracity.

I generate no specific resolutions this year at this moment but just like the sun rises in clockwork fashion to a new day; a New Year is definitely a New Beginning :)

Aisha

Recapping 2009..

Well it’s that time of the year again; yes the end of a year and the beginning of another. It sounds like a bit of a cliché.  I know we get to this point every year, if we are fortunate enough that is to live through one year and see the start to another. It’s a good time to reflect on the past, and look forward with renewed hope.

A lot has happened this year but many people will probably say that. But for me personally it has been yet again another rollercoaster ride of a year and some of the highlights of this year I write about here briefly.

One of my main highlights has to be hitting 30 in May. I dreaded this point in my life and well before the big birthday; months before, even years before it, I recall saying I would hibernate before it and after it, in the hope that it would pass without anyone noticing that I had turned 30, but mostly without me realising it. I even threatened to leave home if I wasn’t married before I turned 30 and had all the minute details of my departure planned in my head. But in fact in a turn that I never expected I found myself embracing my 30th birthday. I really looked forward to it and despite this lingering thought of marriage, I realised that I had come to a stage in my life ready to say to all the busy bodies who were taking such a keen interest in my private life to quite frankly ‘butt out’. Believe me to get to this level of confidence for me is something. Don’t get me wrong; I do want to get married and have children but with the right person when Allah wills and because I want to, not because the narrow minded busy bodies of our communities and some so called friends and families think I should.  But most significantly, I had achieved far more than I had even anticipated in almost all elements of life and that was worth reaching 30 for!

Anyway in other highlights, in a remarkable way we managed to see through the end of a close friend’s battle with cancer and she came away from it a stronger person with a healthier and firmer mindset and outlook on life and as a result I became a better person and I thank the Lord that I got to experience such a critical time at such a tender age.

My brother got married and despite all the chaos surrounding it, we managed to get to the other side of the world and have a fantastic wedding. Thanks to his wedding, I got to see and travel through Australia sooner than I had anticipated and the awesomeness of this trip was totally spectacular and shall linger with me for longer than I can ever explain or imagine.

We had a fantastic family holiday in Morocco and an even better trip as a family to Canada. Just to reconnect with all the family back in Canada bought us back to our roots and in a sense where family mattered, proved that family do matter in the right context and in the right time. Finally the much desired Far East tour kicked in this year in October and plans are underway already to continue this tour over the years God Willing.

With years of toil and constant and undivided commitment to their children, I finally saw my parents off away on vacation just the two of them on two separate occasions. This was something I had always desired for them and to see an end result evokes a sense of accomplishment and reward.

I plucked up the courage to get on the property ladder and since I’m still single, this was a tough decision in itself. At a time when recession hits everyone in difficult times, I feel I am making a good decision on my part and the greatest element in this is my assurance and self-reliance continues to take a constant upward direction and I have Allah to thank for giving me the strength and my parents to thank for encouraging me and supporting me endlessly.

In other great achievements, I have begun swimming classes. It’s not so much learning to swim, of course I want to conquer that aspect but it is more about overcoming this great fear that I have deep inside me. It is this fear of not being in control generally that has always affected me and for some strange reason being deep in the water I feel myself losing control, losing strength, losing a sense of direction and this is stopping me from fulfilling an achievement to be able to swim. But I am a great believer in conquering; anything is possible and though I have a long road ahead before I can strongly swim entire lengths I shall preserve into the New Year and who knows for I may succeed sooner than I trust myself too.

I walked my first Race for Life in the summer this year and that was a remarkable feeling, for it is a cause I am deeply connected to now. This year I owned my first car after sharing one for the last 13 years of driving, for me this was liberation from my personal uncertainties and again an addition to my independence.

But it wasn’t all singing and dancing; there was some gloom. One significant event procured the entire latter part of this year, and dominated life in the most peculair of ways, and though no resolve was ever achieved, the people close, to be affected by this, and including myself remain in limbo. This, my friends is a feeling no person should ever have to endure. I learnt that no matter how much you desire something, and even going to the lengths of shifting the earth could not make something that is not meant to be. On other lows, I had a moment of reconnection to my past. Though in retrospect that was nice, the overall feeling was of sadness and maybe a hint of bitterness for when you really trust and know a person, they let you down very badly. It comes to an even better understanding that people are not what they seem to be, even those who are closest to you.

So while one issue looms over our heads as we embark in to 2010, only Allah knows what the rest of next year shall entail; what joys and miseries are to befall us? What I do know is that if I have survived this year, I can take on almost anything that shall face me in the next.

I wish you all a very happy and peaceful New Year. I pray it brings you mountains of strength to face those unfortunate difficulties that God forbid may cross your path and most importantly may the year burst with fountains of hope, happiness, peace, love and joy! :)

Aisha

Festive celebrations..

Up until my trip to the Far East a couple of months back, I had not realised how ignorant people in my country are to the festive occasions of people from other creeds and religions. I am serious on this issue. The lack of understanding and respect is non-existent amongst many more people in this country than I had imagined.

When I went out to Malaysia in October, Eid celebrations had just come to an end and preparations were underway for Diwali. You talked to various people and one could never assume by looking at the person, their preferences when it came to festive celebrations. It was broadly and pleasantly acceptable that people were free to celebrate whichever celebrations they desired to and the color of your skin or any other element did not matter. If you so desired, you could celebrate them all and most of all every single person happily greeted each other and knew exactly when these celebratory days were. No one was clueless. In fact they were all clued up well on the details of various festive occasions The shopping malls were all true to the spirit of Diwali at the time, having just taken down their decor from Eid. This was the true spirit of genuine people who lived side by side accepting all faith and all festive occasions.

Most people in my country are ignorant. They can't even bring themselves to wish you well on Eid or ask if you had a good Eid. But turn the coin, and the minority are almost backed into some shitty corner to utter well wishes on Christmas, and should you make a mistake to not, my Goodness, it's almost like a crime that you should be hung, drawn and quartered for.  Not so literally I suppose but it the attitude posed to you that sucks.

It doesn't bother me, I know enough about the Christian faith, the reason behind Christmas. Sadly those who supposedly celebrate it don't. They are so vain and uninteresting unless it has a materialistic approach to it. The true moral and spiritual significance to the faith and celebrations are completely lost. I find people submerged in spending hundreds and even thousands of pounds on gifts, decorations and food. There is no covetous from me as I think about this, just simple sadness to be amongst people who are so grasping and I dread to think that people of my faith would ever turn in this approach. For when we celebrate, the spiritual significance is still there, it's beautiful and its genuine, it's for a cause encompassing every possible element in life.

I do the cards, and the gifts to a degree, mostly because it's a good time to keep in touch with people you don't get to see often, to share with them a little of what you would desire for oneself. I wish well and I enjoy Christmas to an extent openly and happily. But I’d love to see a day when the majority would be as courteous to the minority when it comes to festivities!

One can only hope for change..:)

Aisha