Random thoughts...

I started writing this post without a title. Normally I begin with a title and work from there and well things kind of just take its flow.

I know some book writers, song writers and well writers in general sometimes tend to write and write and at some point come up with a title for their book or their song, so I am not worried that as I set out this morning to type away at the keyboard, staring at the screen, trying to fathom the words that appear so randomly, that this post may never have a title so quickly.

I seem to have neglected this safe haven for the past week or so. While I said that I would come away from the madness of the world and write about anything and everything that is going around me that element called TIME has not allowed me to do so.

Not only have I neglected the blog, I have neglected many others commitments and the operative word being NEGLECT. I seem to have a lot of catching up to do, if I want to get back on to a level.

I've spent the last week reading and writing...no not reading blogs and writing for blogs. I have been reading and writing for academic purposes. Sometimes I wonder why I put myself under tremendous strain. I think I hoard stress like there is no tomorrow.

So having read everything I could possibly know on the physiology of reproduction and the menstrual cycle, advancement of contraception, research into male infertility, together with sleep physiology and function with sleep deprivation, I feel like I am teeming with a mountain of knowledge, wow a mountain seem like huge. Now I know I could carry on learning forever but right now quite frankly I could not take another chapter on any physiological process with the ever fascinating human body!

Well I finished writing my paper and with the finishing touches to make before I send it off, I realise that my brain is completely dead. I feel like I have read and written and well right now it sounds like a load of crap! I seem to have written my paper and cannot even attempt to consider whether it makes sense or not as in my head the information I seem to have taken from the last six weeks of studying does not make sense. When I receive my marked paper, only then will I come to know how well I did! Actually it is at that point when I read back my paper I realise how much I learnt..I think to myself wow did I really take all that in? But really right now I feel like I've put so much time into studying and not one thought from it appears coherent.

Enough on the studying. The strain and the stress of it all has really affected my health. My sleeping has been completely disturbed, in fact I don't think I haven't had a good night's sleep in a while. I must be grinding my teeth during my attempted phase of sleep and well I am waking up with this awful headache...apparently I am told it is related to stress. God what hasn't stress set out to destroy??

My diet has gone completely out of the window and if I open one more packet of biscuits and see through to the end of it, I really will be utterly disgusted with myself.

In all fairness, honestly I should stop putting so much pressure on myself, I mean I was under heaps of stress and so its only natural for me to develop terrible eating habits and even more dreadful sleeping patterns.

So it is now time to focus, FOCUSED I shall be. Back to the gym, regular and adequate healthy meals and hopefully some decent sleep.

and finally, I really must spend more time with mum and dad since I put them and everything and everybody nearest and dearest to me on the back burner. I shall work my way into catching up with lost time with everyone, starting with the two most important people in my life.

Before I start thinking I haven't enough to fill my time, I am going to savour this moment of somewhat simplicity, especially since I don't know how long it can last for..


Aisha