Recapping 2009..

Well it’s that time of the year again; yes the end of a year and the beginning of another. It sounds like a bit of a cliché.  I know we get to this point every year, if we are fortunate enough that is to live through one year and see the start to another. It’s a good time to reflect on the past, and look forward with renewed hope.

A lot has happened this year but many people will probably say that. But for me personally it has been yet again another rollercoaster ride of a year and some of the highlights of this year I write about here briefly.

One of my main highlights has to be hitting 30 in May. I dreaded this point in my life and well before the big birthday; months before, even years before it, I recall saying I would hibernate before it and after it, in the hope that it would pass without anyone noticing that I had turned 30, but mostly without me realising it. I even threatened to leave home if I wasn’t married before I turned 30 and had all the minute details of my departure planned in my head. But in fact in a turn that I never expected I found myself embracing my 30th birthday. I really looked forward to it and despite this lingering thought of marriage, I realised that I had come to a stage in my life ready to say to all the busy bodies who were taking such a keen interest in my private life to quite frankly ‘butt out’. Believe me to get to this level of confidence for me is something. Don’t get me wrong; I do want to get married and have children but with the right person when Allah wills and because I want to, not because the narrow minded busy bodies of our communities and some so called friends and families think I should.  But most significantly, I had achieved far more than I had even anticipated in almost all elements of life and that was worth reaching 30 for!

Anyway in other highlights, in a remarkable way we managed to see through the end of a close friend’s battle with cancer and she came away from it a stronger person with a healthier and firmer mindset and outlook on life and as a result I became a better person and I thank the Lord that I got to experience such a critical time at such a tender age.

My brother got married and despite all the chaos surrounding it, we managed to get to the other side of the world and have a fantastic wedding. Thanks to his wedding, I got to see and travel through Australia sooner than I had anticipated and the awesomeness of this trip was totally spectacular and shall linger with me for longer than I can ever explain or imagine.

We had a fantastic family holiday in Morocco and an even better trip as a family to Canada. Just to reconnect with all the family back in Canada bought us back to our roots and in a sense where family mattered, proved that family do matter in the right context and in the right time. Finally the much desired Far East tour kicked in this year in October and plans are underway already to continue this tour over the years God Willing.

With years of toil and constant and undivided commitment to their children, I finally saw my parents off away on vacation just the two of them on two separate occasions. This was something I had always desired for them and to see an end result evokes a sense of accomplishment and reward.

I plucked up the courage to get on the property ladder and since I’m still single, this was a tough decision in itself. At a time when recession hits everyone in difficult times, I feel I am making a good decision on my part and the greatest element in this is my assurance and self-reliance continues to take a constant upward direction and I have Allah to thank for giving me the strength and my parents to thank for encouraging me and supporting me endlessly.

In other great achievements, I have begun swimming classes. It’s not so much learning to swim, of course I want to conquer that aspect but it is more about overcoming this great fear that I have deep inside me. It is this fear of not being in control generally that has always affected me and for some strange reason being deep in the water I feel myself losing control, losing strength, losing a sense of direction and this is stopping me from fulfilling an achievement to be able to swim. But I am a great believer in conquering; anything is possible and though I have a long road ahead before I can strongly swim entire lengths I shall preserve into the New Year and who knows for I may succeed sooner than I trust myself too.

I walked my first Race for Life in the summer this year and that was a remarkable feeling, for it is a cause I am deeply connected to now. This year I owned my first car after sharing one for the last 13 years of driving, for me this was liberation from my personal uncertainties and again an addition to my independence.

But it wasn’t all singing and dancing; there was some gloom. One significant event procured the entire latter part of this year, and dominated life in the most peculair of ways, and though no resolve was ever achieved, the people close, to be affected by this, and including myself remain in limbo. This, my friends is a feeling no person should ever have to endure. I learnt that no matter how much you desire something, and even going to the lengths of shifting the earth could not make something that is not meant to be. On other lows, I had a moment of reconnection to my past. Though in retrospect that was nice, the overall feeling was of sadness and maybe a hint of bitterness for when you really trust and know a person, they let you down very badly. It comes to an even better understanding that people are not what they seem to be, even those who are closest to you.

So while one issue looms over our heads as we embark in to 2010, only Allah knows what the rest of next year shall entail; what joys and miseries are to befall us? What I do know is that if I have survived this year, I can take on almost anything that shall face me in the next.

I wish you all a very happy and peaceful New Year. I pray it brings you mountains of strength to face those unfortunate difficulties that God forbid may cross your path and most importantly may the year burst with fountains of hope, happiness, peace, love and joy! :)

Aisha