In the mind...

Life is so complicated, the hustle and bustle of everyday traumas can make us lose focus about what is truly important or what is only a momentary setback or crisis..

Everything that happens to us happens for a reason. Never brush aside anyone as insignificant.

Who knows what they can teach us?

How much are you willing to put up with..?!

Periodically, this question seems to travel around in my head. Some event occurs, some person decides to voice their opinion, a debate or a disagreement, or even a setback and I find myself asking this question. Sometimes totally exasperated I can't even fathom out the answer, yet it’s a very simple question!

We are not all perfect. Each and every one of us have faults within us, yet some people feel the need to present themselves in total perfection. Flaws are part of human characteristics. Yet to not recognise this, degrades the level of intelligence one does possess. One has to be completely deluded to think that flaws do not exist in a person.

It is what we do about our flaws or how we deal with the flaws of others that are of the essence. That is the true strength and shining factor of a character but it still brings me back to the question of how much are you willing to put up with?

I have the habit of flipping the handle and often people think its uncalled for but generally nine times out of ten, I have an explainable reason to have flipped the handle except most people's thoughts are of a tunnel vision nature and hence fail to recognise or appreciate the reasons behind such an outburst.  Recognition, appreciation, reasoning, all these things require patience, which most have very little of.

This is a kind of a rant more than a cohesive post. In fact not a lot of things are making sense at the moment. Various people around me are calling the shots and deciding things. Maybe they have good reason to but what I do know that very few people actually consider the feelings of others when they make a decision. They never truly understand the impact words or actions have on others. I have to say that is something I am guilty of too but whereas a stubborn character never gives way I soon rectify my mistakes and hate to harbour ill feelings for longer than necessary and certainly do not like to live in an indeterminate state.

I had the opportunity to meet the most remarkable person last week. A guy who was driving past our house must have clipped my dad's car mirror. He came to the door and was so remorseful for his action which to me was very little. Since Dad was away he asked that he would call himon return. Anyway he came back yesterday and dad said he genuinely and truly felt bad about the mishap and offered to pay for the damages. Dad said he need not at all but kindly told him that he was ever so grateful for his actions in terms of owning up and offering to pay damages and that his distinctiveness were outstanding. We chatted about theses events over dinner and came to the conclusion that this man was a one in a million to find.

I always find women are the most peculiar of temperament; they never really talk about problems. They expect their male counterparts to know what’s going inside their little heads and they expect them to say the right things at the right time. This is something that is historical and hasn't changed much. Women are still exactly the same and those women who deny it are most guilty of it. But guys are just as bad, they have turned into and identical species of women in these personality traits that I refer to; such wimps. I mean whatever happened to adage ‘be a better man’. What happened to all these guys? Did they just realize the way to behave was to turn in to the temperament of a women? This I am completely frustrated at!

Anyway I was in awe of this guy's character and I realised that this man had characteristics’ that help you to put up with some of the flaws in people; patience, perseverance, understanding mercy and compassion. How many of us actually hold these individualities? I mean truly hold them and can show them in one respect or other?!

Life's happenings turn you into the kind of person you are, a person's character is ‘work in progress’, always changing, sometimes improving and sometimes taking a downward spiral. How then can you definitively judge a person?

Don’t restrict yourself in making allowances for people; embrace them, flaws and all; you may just get more than what you bargained for.

In talking about personalities, I always pray that I am in company of those who bring the good out in me, and help curb the bad in me. As for those who bring no good in me and only bring about the bad in me, I ask to be as far away from them as possible.

Finally a colleague of mine presented me with some wise words. She noticed I wasn’t sleeping well and she having known about the continuous strains I have been under for the last two years told me not to be too hard on myself. Having known each other only a short time, she already recognized very early on that I put others before myself and she has always admired and respected that. So as she is telling me ‘not to be too hard on myself’ she added that I recite this often:



رَبِّ اشْرَحْ لِي صَدْرِي وَيَسِّرْ لِي أَمْرِي وَاحْلُلْ عُقْدَةً مِنْ لِسَانِي يَفْقَهُوا قَوْلِي
Rabb-ishrah ii sadri, wa yassir li 'amri, Wah-lul 'uqdatam-mil-li-saani, Yaf-qahuu qawlii

O my Lord! Expand me my breast; Ease my task for me; And remove the impediment from my speech, so they may understand what I say
[Surah Ta-Ha; 20:25-28]

Such beautiful words - :)

Aisha

Testing the ground...

I attempted to write this post, back on the 14th January, but for one reason or another never managed to finish it.  Coming back to it today I realised that not only did i not finish this post but I haven't blogged in ages, in fact the entire month of January has passed and I forget this blog even existed.  Well actually I had not forgotten about the blog, the thought of it, almost always lingers within me.  Many a times I think of noting the day's events or a certain moment but time or another element does not permit.  So in essence this post in now somewhat, another one of my rambles!

So testing the ground was the idea a few weeks back.  On many levels it certainly was testing the ground.  On a materialistic level it was time for the upgrade on my contract phone.  I had seriously considered cancelling the blooming thing, totally economising, and going pay as you go.  I mean money is kind of tight especially with a huge commitment of a home coming along pretty soon. There really did not seem any point in shelving thirty odd pounds per month, especially since I had not maximised the service use in the past twelve months.  But then just a few days before I made the call to the phone company to cancel, a strange thing happened and along came the constant use of my mobile phone.  So with a rethink I carried on with my contract. 

Now most know, I am a loyal customer to Sony Ericson! But was this the time to be traitor and go to Nokia?  Something the others particularly my kid brother was annoying me over.  I settled for the Satio and bloody hell was there some effort in getting used to a touch screen, it's like a whole new blooming technique that one has to master.  The real surprise on this phone subject came some twenty-four hours after I had my Satio.  I needed to off load that previous phone of mine which had never received the TLC it deserved but still was as damn good as it was on day one despite it looking a little battered.  In an extraordinary turn, my brother totally loyal to Nokia turned into a complete traitor overnight.  Now SE is the best thing since slice bread or in his sugar coated way, SE have some good features.  He can't quite bring himself to say SE rocks :p

Anyway on other news, my sister finally moved in to her refurbished, reconstructed, re-everything house.  It looks fabulous, modern and definitely has a feel of openness to it and the girls totally love their vibrant bedrooms.  I love new homes, new decor, it really gives a fresh approach!  It's not just about a lick of paint or a change of furnishings  or a bit of a move around, it goes beyond it and completely re-address the mental, physical, and emotional approach to your home and life.

This affair I mentioned earlier, which resulted in the overuse of my phone, bought some interesting twists and turns to personalities, and just life in general.  The whole thing about this so called affair has been superb, something I never actually thought was feasible but I found that to fulfill this so called business and change many of us have to let go of the past and have the courage, strength and patience to move forward. One has to trust in ones self and believe in others.  For the desired end result which I'll go into detail in good time, myself and two other significant people in my life need to make this change.  Fear is huge sphere and conquering that is a master in itself.  There is deep affection in between all this and that can either allow you to conquer fear or stop you from conquering it.  I know that this choice I have made is most definitely the right one, for it will bring good to me and all the people around me, but timing is key in this.  Time will allow for all things to heal and shine with a glow.

One final note is on cooking, the subject stems from the previous and significant change I have referred to.  My sister and I agreed the other day that some of the men are the best cooks there are and we agreed that the men in our lives were ultimately the better cooks.  It was something that was said that also encouraged this idea that cooking is an art not just a chore.  At least we have men in our lives that cook for us!  What more could a woman want?!

Here's to hopefully a fruitful and fabulous February -:)

Aisha